Monday, February 28, 2011

Be Careful What You Wish For!

Have you ever wished that time would just SLOW DOWN ALREADY!!! Well, that is exactly how I've been feeling the last little while. My son turns 20 tomorrow and I, to put it mildly, have not been doing well with that fact. Let's just say it has been a little weepy around here for the past couple of days. I think it is a little harder because this is the first birthday of his that I won't be spending with him. As most of you know, he is serving as a missionary for our church. He has been gone for almost a year now and well, I'm just really missing him right now. Don't get me wrong...I don't wish for anything to be different. I KNOW he is soooooo HAPPY and exactly in the right place for him and that makes me soooooo HAPPY, too. That is all a mother wants. It is just a little HARD for ME sometimes and this is one of those times. I can't believe my 4th child is turning TWENTY!!! My baby boy is going to be TWENTY tomorrow! How can this have happened soooo dad gummed fast!! SLOW DOWN TIME I've been wishing! Well, I got my wish. Last night. Time slowed down all right...it came to a dead halt. After a couple hours of restless sleep, at 3:00 am I woke up...and I mean WOKE UP!!! WIDE AWAKE at 3:00 am. Now insomnia and I are old frenemies, but this was exceptionally bad case even for me. After laying there...tossing...turning...staring at the ceiling...quite sure that HOURS have gone by and it is finally time to get up...I check the clock 3:15 am........WHAT?!!! Oh myyyyy I got my wish...time was slowing down...minute by agonizing minute!! Not exactly what I envisioned. I take a bath....I read....I wander aimlessly around the house...I lay there and toss and turn...I do mental exercises that sometimes get me back to sleep...I stare at the ceiling some more...I have the thought (one of THOUSANDS) that well, this is what you wished for...time has slowed down...I check the clock...4:00 a.m. UGH!!! More of the same...UGH!! I have the thought (one again of thousands) this is going to be bad tomorrow...wait amend that...this is going to be bad all week! UGH!! Fall asleep at 5:45 just in time to wake up in a couple of minutes! So to Ty on his birthday tomorrow...I caution...be careful what you wish for...cause it just might come true! To all of you...I hope your wishes come true...well, maybe! BIG HUGS, Cheryl

A little collage of Ty through the years:



Birthday card I made for Ty:

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13 comments:

  1. UnknownFebruary 28, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    I can't imagin what you are going through.. I only have my one daughter. And she lives four houses down from me.. It would be so hard if she ever moved away.. As far as that darn sleep thing.. I do feel your pain.. That happens to me alot.. My Dr says I'm going through the change.. What!!! I am to young to go through the change.. RIGHT!! Hee Hee..

    Your card looks wonderful and he is going to love it..

    Hugs, Linda

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  2. KristieFebruary 28, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    Oh Cheryl, my heart breaks for you. I know that bittersweet feeling of having our children happy...without us. And I know that frenemy of yours as well! Love your new vocabulary word, you should submit it to Oxford:)

    Best wishes for a good night's sleep and a happy heart.

    Hugs, Kristie

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  3. SylviaFebruary 28, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    Cheryl, I am so sorry that you are spending a birthday away from your son. I like you, have many children, however all of mine except for my daughter lives away. It makes me sad, too. But you are there in spirit with him, I know you are! As for the night, I am always awake at night on each one of their birthdays. My four were all born from midnight to 4AM. Now I am always awake!!!! Have a wonderful day tomorrow, and celebrate his birthday anyway!Make a cupcake and light a candle!

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  4. Luz Maria BrunaFebruary 28, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    Ohh my dear friend I soo understand you!!! When I see my kids and yesterday were two babies!!!!
    Yiur card is wow GORGEOUS!!

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  5. Kirsty VittetoeFebruary 28, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    Awww.... poor mommy missing her baby, I know exactly how you feel Cheryl, my son live far far away from me and we see each other 2-3 times a year, it is very hard.
    I should have get up, turn on my computer and chat with you last night, LOL, I can't sleep till 4.30 AM : (

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  6. Rita BarakatFebruary 28, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    Awww ! I know what you mean my firstborn will be 20 this year! it goes by so fast!!!! i'm sure it won't be long before you fill your days again!

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  7. Audrey PettitFebruary 28, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Goodness, you've made me a little weepy, Cheryl! Just because I can so understand how you're feeling. Happy because your children are happy, but boy is it hard to watch them grow up. Fortunately for me, mine are still at home with me......but I see that clock ticking and know I only have a few more years......and it just goes too fast. I just want everything to slow down. So big ((hugs)) to you, on the eve of your dear son's 20th birthday. Just enjoy every moment and make the most of every day.
    Love, love your birthday card. That scene is just so beautiful, and I adore the large monogram letter and the punched edging. :)

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  8. LynndaFebruary 28, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    Hello Cheryl...I can't really imagine what you are going through..but one thing I know i do feel a little like that "weepy" when Matin went for his sleeping over at his cousin's(mind you ..its just one nite!)..yup im too soft thats what mr hubby said! .. As far as that darn sleep thing.. I do feel your pain.. That happens to me alot..too...especially lately....

    Your card looks wonderful and he is going to love it..I'm sure... hope your day gets better.... hugs...xoxo

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  9. RosFebruary 28, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    Yep, insomnia and I are old friends ... we meet regularly ... and I feel for you missing your son ... only a mother knows ... Happy Birthday to Ty ... His card is lovely and I really hope you can get together again soon ... Thinking of you and sending a hug ...

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  10. UnknownFebruary 28, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Oh, Cheryl! I felt your pain in every part of this post; from the highs and lows of being a mommy of a missionary, to not being ready for my kiddos to be grown up so fast, to the insomnia. I also related so well to the not wanting that missionary boy anywhere but where he is, but still missing him anyway. As I read each word of this post I thought it was a post I could have written myself. Thanks for sharing your heart. I can't believer your Ty has been out a whole year. I still remember you posting about his call. Happy Birthday, Tyler. Get some much-needed sleep, Cheryl!

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  11. ~amy~March 1, 2011 at 6:02 AM

    Oh Cheryl...I'm all misty for you..seriously...hang in there....

    My girl is going to be turning 16 in a couple weeks and I can't believe how quickly time has flown by...{shaking my head}...

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  12. Virginia L.March 1, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    I totally understand how you must have felt... baby boys turning 20! I hope you get to talk to him on his birthday at least since he is serving the church! You must be so proud of Ty! Love your birthday card for him! So sophisticated for a 20-year old!!

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  13. AnonymousMarch 3, 2011 at 4:18 AM

    Aw Cheryl...
    Hope your feeling a little better..bless you!!It is soo hard being a Mamma with children away,but he will be as proud of you as you are of him!!You are there in spirit!
    Happy Belated B`day` to him....He will love his beautiful card TFS:) xxx

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